For all my fellow anxious parents out there!

What you CANNOT control

What you CAN control

You cannot control this pandemic.

You CAN control that you follow guidelines about social distancing.

You cannot control who will get ill.

You CAN control how much you keep in touch with loved ones via phone/text/facetime and email and make sure that they are following the recommended guidelines.

You cannot control the economic situation.

You CAN control educating yourself, reading the government guidelines on support, find out who you can talk to, what you are entitled to, ask your family/friends/online community for information and support.

You cannot control the media or other people’s reaction to the pandemic.

You CAN control your interaction with media, you can choose 1 or 2 specific times to watch the news, you can limit social media if it makes you feel more panicky instead reach our for support from someone you feel able to talk things out with. Do not assume that everyone will want to talk about this. You can ask people not to talk about it with you, take yourself out of the conversation or practice deep breathing to calm yourself.

You cannot control that some people will panic buy.

You CAN control asking for help from family/friends/neighbours or your online community if there is something that you need. You can offer to help more vulnerable members of your community.

You cannot control how long you or others may end up being at home.

You CAN control making an effort to stick to a routine, still get up, shower, eat breakfast, put make up on etc. Do exercise and eat as healthily as possible whilst not beating yourself up if you do gain an extra few pounds. If you are with the kids, do not feel pressure to entertain every day. It is ok to have a “boring” day, they will be fine. You can keep in touch with others through call/text/facetime and email. If able, you can get involved with community projects if you are well enough and it is safe to do so.

You cannot control that some people may joke about this.

You CAN control introducing boundaries around conversations that upset you or make you feel worse.

You cannot control that some people will die.

You CAN control educating yourself with the facts and know that many more people will survive. You can make sure that anyone you are worrying about is following the guidelines. You are allowed to be worried about this, but that worry does not have to control you.

You cannot control that this is unfair.

You CAN control reminding yourself that it is unfair for all of us. You are allowed to be angry that the super rich can pay for private testing and disappear to secluded getaways. But you do have to remind yourself that they are the few and you are part of the many and there is pride in making a stand together in this, to be part of the side of humanity who cares not only about themselves but about others.

You cannot control that this could hurt.

You CAN control that if someone you love or care about dies, you are allowed to be devastated, you are allowed to have all the emotions and allow yourself time to grieve.

You cannot control how long this will take.

You CAN control how you talk to yourself and others, you can control how you treat yourself and others. Self-care, kindness, compassion for yourself and others will get us all through this.